Meet Your Weird Car Twitter (X?) Cast: @Mike_M_Klotz

Some of us know our limitations repairing cars and tackling tough car repair Jobs. But some of us approach those like is the Battle of Iwo Jima and Victory is the only way out.  If you are familiar with our friend @Mike_M_Klotz, you know he’ll go all the way.

When I would’ve given up, and towed the car to the mechanic, or burn it to the ground in frustration, for Mike, who is not even a mechanic in real life, is just another Happy Weekend Wrenching Job that ballooned from 3 hours to a fierce battle taking 7 days. But he’ll get it done.

Currently busy running one million simulations on a supercomputer to see what engine he will put in a Studebaker, and in a perennial ‘what car am I going to buy next?’ state of mind, like most of us, he’s our poster child and hero for #weirdcartwitter (sorry still not calling the hellhole, ‘X’, Elon)

We are honored to feature Mike in our blog. Maybe he’ll stop ignoring us today. I hope. Get to know Mike in his own words:

Which car were you driving when you got your first traffic ticket? what was the charge?

I was a junior in HS, driving a 1989 Jeep Comanche (4.0, 4×4, manual transmission). The entry to the school parking lot was and S-shaped driveway. One day leaving school I decided to have some fun and hit the gas hard going around the first turn, kicking out the rear for a perfect corner drift. Unfortunately for me, a cop was pulling into the lot and watched the whole thing unfold right in front of him.

Easy decision for him to flip around and pull me over. I explained that I had been having some clutch issues and was in the process of gathering parts to swap out the clutch. I don’t know if he bought it or not, but after threatening to give me a reckless driving ticket he let me off with a fix-it ticket. I bought a clutch, xerox’d the receipt, returned the clutch, then showed up to court with proof I fixed it and got off the hook entirely.

What vehicle you drove exactly a week ago? (no explanations, riding nothing is an answer. bike, tractor, skis, 4×4, trailer, tesla whatever vehicle you drove)

In the past week I’ve driven a 2019 Armada, 2019 Pacifica, 2019 Pilot, 2010 Genesis 4.6, 2021 MB GLC, and a 2023 Kia Sportage.

Confess your irrational car love – The car you love despite its deep flaws

I have more than enough love to go around, but there’s a few oddballs that hold a special place in my heart. I’ve owned two Comanche’s, a Mazda 929, three second-gen Olds Aurora’s, but the most irrational love I have is for the second gen Dodge Stratus. Shortly after graduating college I purchased a 2004 Stratus ES V6. I drove it from 40k miles through 110k miles. It has fantastic handling, solid ride, great room, good MPG. It was smooth and quiet, and felt far more sporty than it had any right to feel. The transmission never hiccuped, I had zero major repairs. My family liked mine so much that they bought three other Stratii, all of which were 100% problem free for years. All things considered, the second gen stratus is a FAR better vehicle than it receives credit (If you say so…Mike)

Everyone loves a grudge, so tell us the car brand you will never drive again and why?

I borrowed my cousin’s 2003 Camry one time. It was by far the worst vehicle I’ve ever driven. The steering wheel had the vague sensation that it was maybe potentially connected to the wheels by a couple leftover 1990’s scrunchies. The brakes were emotionless, without a hint of feedback or feel and only a hint that anything was actually connected to the pedal. The suspension was a soggy noodle, the seats were unbearable, the ergonomics were angering. The only constant was lackluster acceleration, slow shifts, and understeer. I fail to see how anyone ever purchased this generation Camry.

Give us your best tweet, Don’t be humble:

My best tweet, in my mind, remains the one where I discuss how the Chrysler LX platform is NOT an old Mercedes. Runner-up is the discussion about how the Viper engine is NOT a truck engine and was not developed by Lamborghini. It’s difficult to counter a long-engrained narrative that people believe because they heard someone somewhere mentioned it once, but I enjoy going against the grain to explain the truth

No Bro, you are dead wrong, by the numbers, this is your best tweet:

Who do you pick to go next from #weirdcartwitter ?

I pick: https://twitter.com/SeanOfNowhere

Thanks Mike, call us when you finally take a minute of your busy life to read The Caradise! (We are not bitter or anything) Good luck with your W12 Studebaker engine swap!